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When the Old Stories Come Back: Navigating Weight, Perimenopause & Self-Worth


Amy English sitting on a bench

I recently recorded an episode of my podcast, The Confidence Chronicles, that felt really tender and personal. I want to expand on that conversation here because I know I’m not alone in this experience. It’s about recent weight gain, frustration, and the old stories that come roaring back when our bodies shift—especially during something as complex and layered as perimenopause.


Let’s start here: I’m an emotional eating coach. I help women reclaim their power with food, stop autopilot eating, and make peace with their bodies. My work is rooted in healing—not restriction. But despite all the tools, growth, and awareness... the old stories sometimes sneak in.


When the Weight Won’t Budge


At the end of 2024, I gained some weight during the holidays. Nothing out of the ordinary—it usually happens and typically comes off by spring. But this year, it didn’t. The scale hovered, fluctuating in a three-pound loop, refusing to shift.


So, I did what I encourage my clients to do: I stayed curious. I partnered with a dietitian. I looked at what might be going on under the surface, especially with my history of diverticulitis and gut issues. But as the weeks passed, the frustration grew—especially when I had a doctor’s appointment coming up. Even though I love my doctor and she's never commented on my weight, that familiar anxiety still kicked in. The shame, the self-doubt, the fear of being judged.


The Old Story: “I’m Not Good Enough”


That’s when I noticed the old stories surfacing again.

Stories like:

  • “I’ve failed.”

  • “There’s something wrong with me.”

  • “I have to fix this.”


These thoughts are like old scripts etched into my brain from a lifetime of dieting and body shame. Even as a coach, they still whisper when I feel vulnerable. That tug-of-war between what I know to be true (my body is not a problem) and what still hurts (the internalized belief that weight gain equals failure) is very real.


And here’s the thing: I started dieting when I was 10. Many of my clients started even younger. We were handed toxic beliefs about our bodies before we could fully understand what it meant to be in a body. That conditioning runs deep.


What’s Different This Time


In the past, this level of frustration would have sent me spiraling:

  • Extreme dieting

  • Overexercising

  • Harsh self-talk


But this time? I’m not doing that.


Yes, some of the old impulses show up. But I’m choosing differently. I’m:

  • Staying curious about what’s going on in my body

  • Working with a professional who honors health over restriction

  • Adjusting things like meal timing and fat intake to support hormone health

  • Not restricting or punishing myself


Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely.

Are some of my clothes tight? Yes.

Is that annoying? Totally.

But I’m not going back to old patterns.


That Voice Might Never Go Away


Here’s a truth I had to sit with: those deep-seated beliefs may never fully disappear. The goal isn’t to eliminate them. The goal is to:

  • Recognize them faster

  • Soften our response

  • Choose a kinder way forward


The thoughts might still come—like when I hesitated to include chocolate on a food log I sent to my dietitian. The old “I’ll be judged for this” story popped up. But I caught it. I listed the chocolate. And guess what? No judgment. Just helpful feedback about meal balance.


That moment reminded me: healing doesn’t mean the critical voice disappears—it means it no longer gets to drive the car.


Redefining What Progress Looks Like


Progress isn’t just about what happens on the scale. It’s also:

  • Letting yourself buy the bigger jeans (even when they feel too big)

  • Eating the Reese’s egg without spiraling

  • Naming the feelings instead of numbing them

  • Trusting your process—even when it’s slow


I’m still navigating this. I’m still learning. But I wanted to share it in real-time because so many of us think we need to “have it all figured out” before we speak up. We don’t.


You’re not back at square one. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just going deeper.


Be gentle with yourself.


Let the old stories come—but don’t let them stay.


And if you’re in a season like this too, I’m with you. You’re not alone.


xo,

Amy English

Emotional Eating Coach | Fat2Fierce®


Empowering women to reclaim their power with food and find peace with their bodies.


 
 
 
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