New Year’s resolutions: they promise transformation but often leave us stuck in a frustrating cycle of hope and disappointment. For years, I resolved to lose weight, start fresh, and “be better,” only to find myself slipping back into old habits by March—sometimes even sooner. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone.
The truth is, it’s not a lack of willpower. Resolutions set us up to fail by relying on fleeting motivation and unrealistic expectations. What changed for me wasn’t more discipline or stricter rules—it was a complete shift in mindset. I stopped chasing perfection and started prioritizing what truly matters: treating myself with kindness, listening to my body, and focusing on consistency over quick fixes.
The New Year’s Resolution Trap
Every January, we’re bombarded with messages about “new year, new you.” We’re encouraged to set big, ambitious goals—lose X pounds, hit the gym daily, or eat perfectly clean. At first, the motivation is high, and we dive in headfirst. But when life gets busy, we miss a workout, or the scale doesn’t move, that initial fire fizzles out.
The result?
Shame: “I failed again.”
Frustration: “Why can’t I just stick to this?”
Disconnection: “I’ll never get it right, so why bother?”
This cycle of shame and disappointment is exhausting, and it kept me trapped in emotional eating patterns for years. Resolutions didn’t bring me closer to my goals; they drove me further from myself.
Why Motivation Isn’t Enough
Here’s something no one tells you: motivation isn’t meant to last forever. It’s temporary, like a spark that lights the fire. Imagine trying to stay motivated every waking hour—how exhausting would that be?
That’s why so many people start strong in January and give up by February or March. When motivation fades (and it always will), we slip back into our routines because we don’t know what to rely on instead.
For me, the real transformation happened when I stopped waiting to feel motivated. Instead, I learned how to show up for myself consistently, even on the days I didn’t feel like it. I replaced rigid rules with a kinder, more sustainable approach that focused on curiosity, compassion, and connection.
What I Do Instead
Ditch the Scale Obsession
For years, I let the scale dictate my mood, my choices, and my self-worth. If the number went up, I spiraled into frustration and gave up on myself. If it went down, I felt like I had to “keep it up” perfectly.
The truth is, weight fluctuates daily due to so many factors—food, hormones, hydration, stress, sleep, and even the moon (seriously, the moon can move oceans, so why not our bodies?). Now, instead of fixating on the scale, I focus on how I feel. Does my body feel nourished, energized, and comfortable? That’s what matters most.
Get Curious, Not Critical
If I overindulge or make choices that leave me feeling sluggish, I don’t beat myself up anymore. Instead, I get curious:
What triggered this?
How did the food make me feel physically and emotionally?
What can I learn from this moment?
This shift from judgment to curiosity has been a game-changer. It’s helped me understand my body better, let go of guilt, and move forward with kindness instead of shame.
Build an Inner Ally
The harsh inner critic doesn’t help—it keeps us stuck. Imagine talking to a friend the way you talk to yourself when you’re frustrated: “You’re such a failure,” “Why can’t you do anything right?” You’d never say that to someone you love, so why say it to yourself?
I’ve learned to replace that inner critic with an inner ally. I treat myself with the same compassion, support, and encouragement I would offer a friend. Some days, that means celebrating small wins, like drinking enough water or choosing foods that make me feel good. Other days, it’s simply reminding myself, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
A Kinder, Consistent Approach
True transformation isn’t about rigid rules or perfect routines. It’s about self-respect, small sustainable actions, and showing up for yourself day after day.
This approach has freed me from the start-strong, fizzle-out cycle of New Year’s resolutions. I don’t wait for January to “start over,” and I don’t give up on myself because of a holiday meal or a missed workout. I’ve built habits that last all year because they’re rooted in kindness and consistency, not punishment or perfection.
Here’s what I focus on instead:
How I feel: Nourished, energized, and at peace with my body.
Small actions: Drinking water, eating foods I enjoy, and listening to my body’s cues.
Self-compassion: Reminding myself that I don’t need to be perfect to make progress.
How You Can Start Your Journey
If you’re ready to step off the resolution treadmill and embrace a more compassionate path, I want you to know this: change is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.
That’s why I created the Fat2Fierce® Self-Guided Program—a simple, step-by-step approach to building a fierce mind, body, and heart. In this program, you’ll learn how to:
Develop an inner ally and quiet your inner critic.
Rebuild trust with your body and focus on feeling your best.
Break free from emotional eating, binge eating, and restrictive patterns.
Embrace your emotions as part of being human without turning to food for comfort.
This program is self-paced, so you can go at your speed and build habits that work for you.
Ready to Start?
You don’t need a New Year’s resolution to start treating yourself with kindness today. Visit AmyEnglishCC.com to learn more about the Fat2Fierce® Self-Guided Program, and join the Fat2Fierce® Facebook group for support, guidance, and encouragement along the way.
Let’s build habits that last—and let’s do it with love, not shame.
Start your journey to a fierce mind, body, and heart today.
Wishing you and your loved ones a joyful holiday season and a bright, wonderful year ahead.
xo,
Amy
Amy English
Creator & Coach | Fat2Fierce®
Empowering women to take back their power with food and find peace with their bodies.