The picture on the right was taken at the end of November 2013. It was right before my 39th birthday. In fact, we were getting ready to go to dinner to celebrate my birthday. We were going to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. I had just lost 100 lbs. This picture was also taken just a few weeks before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I remember the moment the picture was taken. I felt happy, and I was excited that I hit such an amazing milestone. However, the main thoughts circling in my head were “I need to lose more”. “I just need to lose another 20, 30, maybe 40 pounds more, and then I’ll be there; I’ll be where I want to be.”
I remember posting this “before and after” picture on Facebook. At the time, I think it became one of my most “liked” posts. The comments flooded in to tell me how great I looked, and to congratulate me on a job well done. There were even some people who commented that I looked beautiful in both pictures. I couldn’t see it. I wanted to lose more.
I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only person who has lost a significant amount of weight only to think “it’s not enough”.
How did we get here? How did we get to a place where we are so unhappy about our physical bodies that we celebrate any major accomplishment wanting more?
I can’t even begin to tell you the torture and deprivation I put my body through to achieve that hundred-pound weight loss. Now, as I look back, I can see how much time and energy was wasted to reach this goal. And why??? Losing that 100 lbs. didn’t help keep me healthy. Instead, I was diagnosed with cancer! It didn’t make me happy enough to stop, and enjoy my beautiful body. I wanted to lose more!!
Here’s the big secret: it will never be enough! Not until we learn how to resolve the shit in our heads.
Here’s the truth: I’m about 40 lbs. heavier than I was in the picture on the right. Breast cancer sent me into an emotional eating tail spin that I’m still recovering from. I’ve done some crazy diets since then, and have been up and down more times than I can count. I have been chasing the “me” in the picture on the right for a long time. It’s hitting me now that she’s gone. She doesn’t exist anymore. We can’t find something, or someone, who is no longer there.
I am a different person now, and there is no going back.
All the work that I have done through coaching, and through the BARE program, has brought me to a new place. It has transformed my way of thinking, about myself, and about my body. My mind is more calm. I know what it feels like to be at peace. I think my body is beautiful! I appreciate everything it does for me, every single day.
Susan Hyatt (creator of the BARE method) said it perfectly the other day. She said “I wish that I could take a before and after photo of my mind and heart. That's where the real progress is!” So, here I am today…. wishing I could somehow post a picture of the freedom I feel now – 40 lbs. heavier. I wish I could take a picture to show you the difference in the way I feel about my body, the way I talk to it, the way I provide fuel for it, and the way I move it.
Folks - it’s not about the number.
I’m still on my journey to my natural weight, but the BARE method has taught me a whole new way to come at this…. from a place of LOVE.
This week, I want to challenge you to get out there and do something to celebrate who you are today – at your current size and your current shape!
You could buy yourself a new outfit. Try yoga, or another new way to move your body that feels delightful. Go ahead and buy yourself some fresh flowers. Do something that feels like love, because you are worth it – at your current weight!
What will you do?
If you need help with this, then please reach out to me. I would be honored to help you learn to love your body now. This is what I do as a BARE coach. You can schedule your FREE discovery call today, just click here. You're so worth it.